Not Everything Deserves a Reaction

Welcome And Grab Your Drink

0:02 SPEAKER_00: Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of Sipping Tea with Queen D.

0:10 SPEAKER_00: Please go grab your water, your tea, your orange juice, whatever kind of juice you are sipping on, or just take a second and join me for a ride because today we need to talk about something.

0:27 SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be short and sweet.

Not Everything Deserves Reaction

0:29 SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna take up too much of your time, but I want to sit with you because one thing I am learning in this season currently is that not everything deserves my reaction.

0:44 SPEAKER_00: Not every weird tone means there's a problem.

0:48 SPEAKER_00: Not every delayed text means something changed, not every inconvenience is a personal attack on me.

0:58 SPEAKER_00: And not every urgent situation from someone else needs to become my urgent situation within my body.

People Pleasing And Borrowed Urgency

1:10 SPEAKER_00: And for me, as I talk about being a people pleaser, this is important for me because when people tell me they have issues, I feel like I'm superhero.

1:21 SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm superwoman and I have to solve whatever my friend is going through.

1:27 SPEAKER_00: No matter what if I have things I'm going through in that current moment, for some reason I always feel like I need to put my cape on, wipe my tears, put my feelings and issues to the side, and make sure whoever and wherever I need to be at, I am there to make sure I'm helping everyone, right?

1:51 SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of us are living in a constant state of reaction.

1:57 SPEAKER_00: Someone says something, we react.

1:59 SPEAKER_00: Someone moves different, we spiral out of control.

2:03 SPEAKER_00: Someone, some or somebody has an attitude, you know what I mean?

2:08 SPEAKER_00: Like we we feel like since they have an attitude and we're in their, you know, room, in the room with them, now we have an attitude, and now we're like, what's wrong with them?

2:20 SPEAKER_00: So now we're trying to fix the situation.

2:22 SPEAKER_00: I know that is sitting hitting someone because let me tell you, it it's me.

2:29 SPEAKER_00: It happened to me, and I'm telling you guys, this is a conversation that I need it to hear and I need it to have, and that's why I'm bringing it to you.

2:40 SPEAKER_00: This is why I'm bringing it to you.

2:42 SPEAKER_00: You know, um, and you know, before we know it, we have given away our peace to people who we may not even realize have even access to it.

2:53 SPEAKER_00: And you have to remember, my friends, peace comes from within us.

2:57 SPEAKER_00: We provide our own peace.

2:59 SPEAKER_00: That is a seeked outside.

3:02 SPEAKER_00: And this is where the work begins.

3:05 SPEAKER_00: Because keeping your side of the street clean is not about pretending that things don't bother you.

Social Media Speed And Comparison

3:11 SPEAKER_00: I don't sit here and walk around like, oh, I'm in La La Land and I see unicorns and butterflies.

3:18 SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.

3:20 SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.

3:22 SPEAKER_00: But it is about learning how to pause before you respond.

3:28 SPEAKER_00: It's about asking yourself, is this really mine to carry?

3:33 SPEAKER_00: Is this really worth my energy?

3:35 SPEAKER_00: Or am I about to make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion?

3:43 SPEAKER_00: And sidebar, guys, emotions are temporary.

3:46 SPEAKER_00: We're mad for five minutes and then we get over it.

3:49 SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, depending on the situation, of course.

3:52 SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?

3:52 SPEAKER_00: But again, emotions are temporary, they they do not last forever and ever.

3:59 SPEAKER_00: Sometimes maturity looks like not answering right away.

4:04 SPEAKER_00: I mean, I had uh, I literally had this situation happen two, I think it was like two to three days ago.

4:11 SPEAKER_00: You know, me and my mom had a conversation and, you know, a disagreement.

4:18 SPEAKER_00: And I had to remove myself from the conversation because one thing I am learning that if this conversation does not serve me, I'm gonna remove myself from it.

4:30 SPEAKER_00: No matter how anyone feels.

4:32 SPEAKER_00: And you know, I love my mom to death.

4:35 SPEAKER_00: I also love me too, and I also love my peace and my sanity, right?

4:42 SPEAKER_00: Sometimes growth looks like not rereading that text message 14 times, trying to find a hidden meaning.

4:48 SPEAKER_00: Hey, read the message, let it go.

4:51 SPEAKER_00: It's not up to you to try to magnify and figure out oh, what is they are trying to say?

4:58 SPEAKER_00: What are they possibly trying to mean by this or that?

5:02 SPEAKER_00: That's that's not yours to carry whatsoever.

5:08 SPEAKER_00: And let's be real, this is not always easy.

5:12 SPEAKER_00: It's definitely easier said than done, especially in a world where social media has us feeling as if we're on a timer, as if we need to constantly fast, respond fast, post, move fast, prove fast, heal fast, succeed fast.

5:32 SPEAKER_00: We are watching strangers live their lives and somehow comparing their timelines to ours.

5:38 SPEAKER_00: We're seeing strangers on an app, right?

5:43 SPEAKER_00: And we're seeing their highlight reel, and we're comparing it to our entire lives.

5:50 SPEAKER_00: And that that's just unhealthy.

5:53 SPEAKER_00: But your peace requires you to slow down, my friends.

5:58 SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system deserves a break, your mind deserves stillness, your heart deserves softness.

6:06 SPEAKER_00: And let me remind you, you deserve to make decisions from a grounded place, not from anger, overstimulation, or fear.

Simple Practices To Slow Down

6:19 SPEAKER_00: So this week, this week, I want you to pick one thing to practice.

6:25 SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's not answering that moment something annoys you.

6:29 SPEAKER_00: Maybe not picking up that phone call when you see someone calling.

6:33 SPEAKER_00: That's okay.

6:34 SPEAKER_00: You don't have to pick it up.

6:36 SPEAKER_00: You don't have to respond to that text message just because they just text you that moment.

6:42 SPEAKER_00: Take a second.

6:45 SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's not letting one bad hour within a day ruin your entire day and make it a bad day.

6:53 SPEAKER_00: You are in control of that.

6:56 SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's not explaining yourself more just because someone else looks confused.

7:02 SPEAKER_00: Not everyone needs to understand how you move and how you understand things and look at things.

7:10 SPEAKER_00: That's not that's not their calling.

7:15 SPEAKER_00: Pausing gives you power.

7:18 SPEAKER_00: And when I realized that, I had to really take a second and be like, hold on.

7:23 SPEAKER_00: That goes with everything.

7:26 SPEAKER_00: I realized I move fast when I brush my teeth, I move fast when I walk, I move fast when I talk, and I'm realizing that I need to slow down.

7:36 SPEAKER_00: D, you need to slow down.

7:40 SPEAKER_00: It gives you time to decide on who you want to be in that moment.

7:46 SPEAKER_00: And when I started to really slow down in the moment, oh my goodness, I was able to choose peace over chaos.

7:57 SPEAKER_00: I was able to respond and not react to conflicts with my mother or with family members or with friends or at work.

8:11 SPEAKER_00: Right?

8:13 SPEAKER_00: So before you react, breathe, before you spiral, pause, before you assume, ask yourself, take a second and truly ask yourself if you are actually if you have facts in your hand, or are you going to take a second before you give your energy away?

8:45 SPEAKER_00: Because you are in control of every moment in your life.

8:51 SPEAKER_00: You have to keep your side of the street clean.

8:54 SPEAKER_00: That means focus on your healing, your response, your boundary, your peace, your growth.

9:03 SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing out.

9:12 SPEAKER_00: It's just silence.

9:18 SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the most healed version of you is the one who finally stops letting everything pull them out of character.

9:29 SPEAKER_00: And that's tea for today.

Final Reminder And Blessings

9:32 SPEAKER_00: So I truly appreciate you guys for taking a second and tuning in to sipping tea with Queen B.

9:40 SPEAKER_00: Keep choosing yourself, keep protecting your peace.

9:44 SPEAKER_00: And remember, not everything deserves a reaction.

9:49 SPEAKER_00: Infinite blessings.